Politics & Religion… STFU!

Why Politics and Religion Are the Ultimate Buzzkills

We’ve all been there. You’re at a family gathering, trying to enjoy your fourth helping of mashed potatoes, when suddenly, Uncle Bob decides it’s time to discuss politics. Or Aunt Susan wants to talk about your "spiritual well-being." And just like that, the mood shifts from lighthearted banter to a high-stakes courtroom drama. Tension rises. Eyebrows furrow. Someone clutches their fork a little too tightly. Welcome to the conversational minefield of politics and religion—where nobody wins, and everyone leaves with indigestion.

Politics: The Reality Show Nobody Asked For

Look, I’m not saying I don’t care about politics. I do! I vote, I stay informed, and I occasionally yell at my TV like a sports fan whose team just fumbled. But after more than a decade of paying attention, I’ve cracked the code: It’s the same tired script, just with different actors and a fresh coat of scandal.

Political campaigns have devolved into a never-ending season of "Who Wants to Be in Power?"—except instead of challenges involving physical endurance, it’s all about who can stir up the most outrage. Politicians don’t sell solutions anymore; they sell fear. They don’t unite us; they divide us into neatly packaged demographics of people who are supposed to hate each other.

Meanwhile, they spend millions on ads telling us why the "other side" is the root of all evil. Funny how they never seem to have the budget to fix, you know, actual problems.

So, I refuse to waste my precious time arguing with Cousin Dave about the political apocalypse. Every two years, I do my civic duty, vote my conscience, and move on with my life. Because let’s be real—our universe has been around for billions of years, and I’m lucky if I get 80 of them. Why waste even a second getting mad at a guy in a suit who doesn’t even know I exist?

Religion: The "Please Stop Trying to Save Me" Conversation

Now, let’s tiptoe into religion—because nothing screams "comfortable dinner conversation" like questioning someone’s eternal salvation over the salad course.

I get it. You’re passionate about your beliefs. That’s great! But here’s the thing—so is everyone else. Trying to "convert" someone at a party is like trying to change someone’s mind about pineapple on pizza: it’s just not going to happen.

Most people already have their own version of the "good news" that helps them get through life. And if they don’t, they probably weren’t waiting for you to swoop in mid-dessert with a spiritual intervention.

I believe in something. I’m just not interested in debating it like a theological prize fight. I keep my faith (whatever that may be) to myself—not because I don’t care, but because I care about peace and quiet more.

Life’s Too Short for Pointless Debates

Here’s the bottom line: We have a limited number of hours on this floating space rock. Do we really want to spend them arguing about things that won’t change just because we yelled louder?

I’d rather focus on things that bring people together—good food, good company, and the shared understanding that pineapple on pizza is a deeply divisive issue best left alone.

So, if you’re wondering why I don’t engage in political or religious debates, now you know. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that I care too much to waste my time on arguments that will never end. Now, pass the mashed potatoes and let’s talk about something that really matters—like why every family event mysteriously runs out of pie way too soon.